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Fear of Loss

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Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Steeped in the need for growth and feeling worthy of experiencing and having MORE in your life – comes an,  almost always unconscious, ambivalence around wanting to grow but being afraid of it at the same time.

What's at the core of this is?  F.E.A.R.  

Sure, there is fear of change, fear of the unknown and going to a new level and what that will require of you.  But at a deeper level - there is a fear of losing what you have now - when you gain something new.  

In other words - the fear of loss.

This fear is there because of a...

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Moving Beyond Your Limits

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"Rise above yourself." ~Thomas Leonard

As the quote referenced above,"Rise above yourself", means to push yourself past what you think is possible for you and go deeper within to continually discover your Real Potential.

The goal is to go deeper into what you have no idea could possibly happen but you secretly hope it would/could.

I remember learning this lesson at the gym - when one of the instructors explained why we did 5 very intense rounds of the same exercise for only 30 seconds and then had us rest in between.

He explained the philosophy of pushing yourself very hard - as hard as you can for 30 seconds and what what you realize is: most likely you'll start at a level 7 and realize - as you push yourself beyond your limits - that by the...

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Knowing What You Really Want

Photo by Dana Marin on Unsplash

In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. ~Mahatma Gandhi


Personally, I think clarity is very underrated and de-valued , and too much attention is put on action and getting things done.

What I've found to be true in my own life, and in the lives of the clients I work with, that when you feel a strong pull  - a desperation - to get to a goal- or a finish line, usually it's because there is an unmet need that hasn't been fulfilled or paid attention to - vs. a value that is aching to be continually expressed.

In this article I wrote about the difference between Needs vs. Wants and it's a very, very important distinction.

However, our society as a whole...

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Letting Go of Resentments

Photo by Grant Ritchie on Unsplash

“There is a time in our lives, usually at mid-life, when a woman has to make a decision- possibly the most important psychic decision of her future life – and that is, whether to be bitter or not. Women often come to this in their late thirties or early forties. They are at the point where they are full up to their ears with everything and they’ve “had it” and “the last straw has broken the camel’s back” and they’re “pissed off and pooped out.” Their dreams of their twenties may be lying in a crumple. They may be with broken hearts, broken marriages, broken promises.” ~Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ from Women Who Run With The Wolves

The statement above is from the fabulous book - ...

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From Ambition to Meaning

life purpose self worth May 28, 2019

The other morning, during a conversation with a friend, the topic of ambition and the continual chase for more had come up.

My friend was discussing the fact that the continual climb to be better, to achieve goals, and to continually raise the bar, wasn't working anymore in terms of giving them that fulfilled feeling they normally had experienced.

The conversation reminded me of a Wayne Dyer movie I had watched a few years back: The Shift. The movie is all about The Shift we all experience where we go from living a life that is all about ambition and succeeding to graduating into a more purposeful life.

In the movie, Wayne explains that The Shift is usually preceded from a quantum moment - a moment where we realize there is not only MORE to life, but more to us and what we're here to...

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Fear of Change

It’s inevitable, when you set a strong intention to change your life for the better, all sorts of emotions crop-up that you didn’t expect. 

Learning to honor those emotions – all of them – is the KEY to transformation. 

Often we don’t realize that our daily lives are playing out patterns from the past – and unconsciously we are each trying to heal old wounds by trying to “do it better” this time around. 

And always, when you set a strong intention to experience something new, something better, something different than what you’re used to – painful and very uncomfortable emotions will crop-up. 

Truth is:  you are more comfortable with the familiar – what you know – what’s...

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How To Get Out of Overwhelm

When you feel overwhelmed by all there is to do - you feel powerless and buried under a heap of responsibilities. You may often struggle with feeling stuck and unmotivated and hear your inner critic voice say - "Why bother even trying  - it's not going to make a difference anyways.

Sound familiar? 

If you've struggled with a consistent pattern of feeling overwhelmed, stressed, tired and burnt-out - by all there is to DO - and never feeling like you will be able to catch-up, then I invite you to look a little deeper and determine what may be driving you to want to feel overwhelmed. 

Wanting to feel overwhelmed? Are you crazy? Who would want that!?

Consider this - when you crave more time, more space, more balance, more sanity in your life - and then you...

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Being Your Own Person

“If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.”  ~Johann von Goethe

In order to live the life you were designed to live - it’s critical to understand yourself at the deepest level. 

Yet, most of us were taught to cover-up the core of who we are in order to be accepted by others in both our original family of origin, and our peer groups growing up. 

Becoming who you were designed to be is a courageous act because it requires you to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.  It requires you to understand that not everyone is going to approve of what you do and who you commit to becoming.

The most important and courageous act in being your own person is:  accepting and loving ALL parts of yourself first and...

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3 Steps for Getting Out of A Rut

If you identify yourself with being a can-do, go-getter, overachiever who has a track-record of getting things done  - then being stuck in a rut is probably the worst feeling you could feel.  It goes against the grain of everything you know about yourself and it hits hard to your identity and how you see yourself – and, where you source your value

Imagine for a moment that you source your value and self-worth from giving. 

Consider that you get a hit of adrenaline every time you accomplish, give, or prove that you’re valuable by doing or giving - whether it’s to someone or something – it feels good to get it done or provide because it feeds something in you – albeit temporarily. 

Yet, at the same time, you may feel resentful and...

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3 Steps to Having Real Confidence

I've had clients ask me: what does that truly mean to give your power away?

What is your power anyway?

Great question!

Your power is your sense of self. It's your definition of who you think you are - who you know yourself to be.   What you believe you're capable of and what you believe you're worthy of. Your power is your self-worth.


We've been taught to hand our sense of self over to the outside world. To believe that others opinions define us. Or, that material possessions or worldly success can give a sense of self - some validation that we've "made it", that we're whole, and that somehow, the outer world can fulfill us.


Relying on the outside world for any sense of self-worth is not only fleeting and totally temporary, but it's also extremely risky and absolutely draining.

...

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