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Toxic vs. Healthy Shame

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"Your problem is you are too busy holding on to your unworthiness." ~Ram Dass

In my work with people, the best way I can describe them hovering over a worth issue is when they know what it is that they truly desire and want  -  yet they struggle with a hold-back  a block of not being able to experience it and they have no idea why.

The best analogy I heard for this was described by Debbie Ford in one of her books where she said (which I'll paraphrase): The feeling is like being stuck in a glass capsule. On the outside you can see what it is that you desire. You are close enough to almost touch and taste it  - but you're just far enough away to fully grab on and claim it as yours.

Can you relate with this glass capsule...

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The Power To Surrender

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"God always gives His/Her best to those who leave the choice with Him/Her" ~ Jim Elliot

If you're anything like me, you follow the positive psychology movement that reminds you constantly of how much power you have with what and how you think - and the decisions that you make in your life. 

This constant reminder to think positive, be positive, etc. - is powerful - but, can almost feel overwhelming knowing how much power you have at your fingertips!

This is why I love the quote above by Jim Elliot where he states that if we can hand over our choices to our Higher Power, then we'll realize that our true power (a.k.a. worth) lies in this sacred connection.  

I see these choices not only being in what you "do", but also in what you...

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Fear Of Getting What You Really Want

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Don’t let the opinions of the average man/woman sway you. Dream, and he/she thinks you’re crazy. Succeed, and he/she thinks you’re lucky. Acquire wealth, and she/he thinks you’re greedy. Pay no attention. She/He simply doesn’t understand.~Robert G. Allen 

In my practice I work with people who are at two different stages of their career aspirations. 

One scenario is you’re at a stage where you’re seeking a more meaningful experience with work and life - and need clarity on what that vision looks like and how you can formulate it and bring it into fruition. 

The second scenario is, you already have a BIG Vision in mind and you now know it’s time to step-up and step-out...

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Feeling Guilty For Wanting MORE?

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“Believe you can and you're halfway there.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

In your life you’ve most likely doubted yourself, your abilities, and your overall self-worth at some point, right?

Well, that’s actually a really good thing (say what?!?) because if you didn’t feel self-doubt, or struggle with your overall worthiness, then you wouldn’t be living up to your full potential and experiencing the growth and evolution that your soul longs for.

See, your dreams, desires, and adventures that you long manifest into reality - have absolutely nothing to do with your overall worthiness or feeling deserving, or ‘good enough’ - but in actuality, have everything to do with what your soul came to experience and needs...

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Pursuing Your Calling - You Have What It Takes

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You've been given the perfect life to teach what you most need to learn. The greatest teachers are given the greatest challenges. Accept that your life will never be perfect but the circumstances are perfect for you to continually evolve yourself while you continually help to evolve others. 

You know you're being called to do more and to be more in your life.  There is a nagging feeling that just won't let you go.  No matter how many times you've tried to ignore it -or settle for a regular existence - it nags at you whispering - There Is Something More...

I get it....your calling can feel like a haunting.  

Maybe you've explored what your MORE is.  Maybe you've taken a course, attended a workshop, or you've taken action on your...

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Courage To Make A Change

Are you on the verge of making a big change in your life/work?  Or, do you have a deep desire to make a big change?  

Do you know exactly what you want to see and have change - or is that vision fuzzy?  

Either way, if you know in your heart and soul that a change is needed - it's having the courage to take the steps to make that change come to life - that is the biggest challenge.  

One day, as I was contemplating making my own big changes - I stumbled upon a card in the store that simply read:  Trust In Yourself.  As I backed up to look more closely at it, the whole title read:  “Trust In Yourself to Make a New Beginning”

Intrigued, I opened the card and read through some beautiful wording that described how difficult, yet exciting, it can...

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How To Overcome Regret

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“Dwell in possibility”  ~Emily Dickinson

When you make the all important decision to live the life you’re destined to live, you will go through a myriad of emotions.  One biggie of an emotion is the “should-a, could-a, would-a” effect – where you feel “if only” I had done this – or “if only” they had done that – or “if only” it could of worked out this way.    

Having regrets about your past and/or present circumstances, not only hold you back from manifesting your highest vision, but regrets also drain your energy and keep you steeped in old self-defeating programming and patterns. 

To regret is to feel a sense of loss, disappointment, and an...

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3 Steps To UpLevel Your Life

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

I can only imagine if you’re anything like me, that you consistently feel a need to evolve and grow, to expand and ensure that you’re realizing your full potential.

I would also guess that you’re someone who at each level you aspire to, you run into new hold-backs, new limiting belief systems that you didn’t realize were there. Beliefs that run deep. Beliefs that wreak havoc on your best laid plans to go forward into your future without limits!

You’re most likely learning that, as you go forward and continue to allow yourself permission to follow your heart, that you’re realizing that your inner critic (that voice inside who tells you can't, you won't, you're not good...

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Negative vs. Unworthy Thinking

Negative thinking is something that I believe you can identify easier than unworthy thinking.

I believe you can talk yourself out of a bad mood – it takes effort but you can do it.

Trying to talk yourself out of unworthiness? Well, that requires experience – a direct experience and shift in your soul.

Negative thinking looks and sounds like: Ugh, really? Traffic again? Why does this always happen to me when I have somewhere to be? Why do I always attract this into my life? Why can’t I catch a break?

Unworthy thinking is more unconscious.

In a moment where something on the outside triggers you, you begin to feel that same way again – this experience sparked something deep down inside you – and you begin to FEEL and then THINK those same old feelings of: "I...

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Fear of Loss

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Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Steeped in the need for growth and feeling worthy of experiencing and having MORE in your life – comes an,  almost always unconscious, ambivalence around wanting to grow but being afraid of it at the same time.

What's at the core of this is?  F.E.A.R.  

Sure, there is fear of change, fear of the unknown and going to a new level and what that will require of you.  But at a deeper level - there is a fear of losing what you have now - when you gain something new.  

In other words - the fear of loss.

This fear is there because of a...

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