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Fear of Loss

Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash

Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Steeped in the need for growth and feeling worthy of experiencing and having MORE in your life – comes an,  almost always unconscious, ambivalence around wanting to grow but being afraid of it at the same time.

What's at the core of this is?  F.E.A.R.  

Sure, there is fear of change, fear of the unknown and going to a new level and what that will require of you.  But at a deeper level - there is a fear of losing what you have now - when you gain something new.  

In other words - the fear of loss.

This fear is there because of a...

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Moving Beyond Your Limits

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"Rise above yourself." ~Thomas Leonard

As the quote referenced above,"Rise above yourself", means to push yourself past what you think is possible for you and go deeper within to continually discover your Real Potential.

The goal is to go deeper into what you have no idea could possibly happen but you secretly hope it would/could.

I remember learning this lesson at the gym - when one of the instructors explained why we did 5 very intense rounds of the same exercise for only 30 seconds and then had us rest in between.

He explained the philosophy of pushing yourself very hard - as hard as you can for 30 seconds and what what you realize is: most likely you'll start at a level 7 and realize - as you push yourself beyond your limits - that by the...

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Knowing What You Really Want

Photo by Dana Marin on Unsplash

In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. ~Mahatma Gandhi


Personally, I think clarity is very underrated and de-valued , and too much attention is put on action and getting things done.

What I've found to be true in my own life, and in the lives of the clients I work with, that when you feel a strong pull  - a desperation - to get to a goal- or a finish line, usually it's because there is an unmet need that hasn't been fulfilled or paid attention to - vs. a value that is aching to be continually expressed.

In this article I wrote about the difference between Needs vs. Wants and it's a very, very important distinction.

However, our society as a whole...

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Letting Go of Resentments

Photo by Grant Ritchie on Unsplash

“There is a time in our lives, usually at mid-life, when a woman has to make a decision- possibly the most important psychic decision of her future life – and that is, whether to be bitter or not. Women often come to this in their late thirties or early forties. They are at the point where they are full up to their ears with everything and they’ve “had it” and “the last straw has broken the camel’s back” and they’re “pissed off and pooped out.” Their dreams of their twenties may be lying in a crumple. They may be with broken hearts, broken marriages, broken promises.” ~Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ from Women Who Run With The Wolves

The statement above is from the fabulous book - ...

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Fear of Change

It’s inevitable, when you set a strong intention to change your life for the better, all sorts of emotions crop-up that you didn’t expect. 

Learning to honor those emotions – all of them – is the KEY to transformation. 

Often we don’t realize that our daily lives are playing out patterns from the past – and unconsciously we are each trying to heal old wounds by trying to “do it better” this time around. 

And always, when you set a strong intention to experience something new, something better, something different than what you’re used to – painful and very uncomfortable emotions will crop-up. 

Truth is:  you are more comfortable with the familiar – what you know – what’s...

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3 Steps for Getting Out of A Rut

If you identify yourself with being a can-do, go-getter, overachiever who has a track-record of getting things done  - then being stuck in a rut is probably the worst feeling you could feel.  It goes against the grain of everything you know about yourself and it hits hard to your identity and how you see yourself – and, where you source your value

Imagine for a moment that you source your value and self-worth from giving. 

Consider that you get a hit of adrenaline every time you accomplish, give, or prove that you’re valuable by doing or giving - whether it’s to someone or something – it feels good to get it done or provide because it feeds something in you – albeit temporarily. 

Yet, at the same time, you may feel resentful and...

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Fate vs. Destiny

personal power Feb 25, 2019

We all have a story we tell ourselves about how worthy or unworthy we feel based on past and current circumstances.

And, most everyone looks to create something in the future to transcend the circumstances that made you (or are making you) feel unworthy...and....hold onto the circumstances that you feel give you worth.

But have you ever considered that trying to create your life keeps you stuck in what you *think* you *should* do and have vs. allowing what is meant for you to happen?

The past two years have opened my own eyes to how mind driven I’ve been.  How, even though, I’ve been following spiritual practice and “teachers”, I was still more committed to giving my mind the power and trying to control what happens vs. allowing what is meant to happen,...

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Why We Self Sabotage

“Self sabotage is when we say we want something and we go about making sure it doesn’t happen” ~Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby

You know what it is that you deeply want. You have it on a vision board or maybe you’ve written it down.

Regardless of the way in which you’ve formulated your vision, you have a good idea of what you yearn to manifest in your life.

Then why, do you sometimes take two steps forward and one (maybe two, three or twenty!) steps back just when you’re beginning to feel great, make progress and see results? 

Self sabotage could be at play.

When you find yourself taking steps forward towards your vision and then suddenly, or gradually, find yourself stopping, or backing off considerably - give thought and consideration to there may be a...

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Letting Life Unfold Naturally

Michael Singer, author and spiritual teacher said it best:  

"Most of us think that nothing good is ever going to happen to us unless I make it happen.  We don’t realize we think this way, but we do.  We are scared inside - and we have all these concepts of how things need to be for us to be okay. We think life is a battle, a fight. Thinking life is against me and I need to make it for me.  The Truth is, life does a good job by itself. Life is pretty intelligent. No human interest with the miraculous that life is.”

I don’t know about you but this statement summed up my approach to life - believing that my life should look a certain way and meet MY expectations - and if it doesn’t, something is wrong - or that I’m a failure for not being...

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Removing Blocks

“We are constantly trying to hold it all together. If you really want to see why you do things, then don't do them and see what happens.”  ~Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul:  The Journey Beyond Yourself 

The past few months, and years, I’ve been doing some deep personal/spiritual work.  The work has helped me to get to the ROOT of some issues that I’ve been living with - that I wasn’t even aware that I had.

Michael Singer, in his book, The Untethered Soul, describes these core wounds/issues as thorns.  We can choose to keep them there and do everything in our power to protect and make sure that nothing, and no one, brushes up against them to cause more pain - OR - we can remove them.

Removing them requires that you become aware of...

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