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Fear Of Getting What You Really Want

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Don’t let the opinions of the average man/woman sway you. Dream, and he/she thinks you’re crazy. Succeed, and he/she thinks you’re lucky. Acquire wealth, and she/he thinks you’re greedy. Pay no attention. She/He simply doesn’t understand.~Robert G. Allen 

In my practice I work with people who are at two different stages of their career aspirations. 

One scenario is you’re at a stage where you’re seeking a more meaningful experience with work and life - and need clarity on what that vision looks like and how you can formulate it and bring it into fruition. 

The second scenario is, you already have a BIG Vision in mind and you now know it’s time to step-up and step-out...

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Self Help Addiction

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Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. ~Thomas Leonard

Last week I had a conversation with a close friend about how we all can get into the trap of self-help addiction and believing that paying attention to your growth and evolution means fixing yourself.

In other words, there is something wrong with you that needs to be helped, (a.k.a. self-help).

Not true. There isn't anything wrong with you - and nothing that needs to be "fixed". 

Even Iyanla Vanzant, who has her own show on OWN called Iyanla Fix My Life - insists that she doesn't fix anyone's life but gives people the tools to do it themselves.

That is really the key:  realizing you have the power vs. believing that you need to fixed or changed in...

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Pursuing Your Calling - You Have What It Takes

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You've been given the perfect life to teach what you most need to learn. The greatest teachers are given the greatest challenges. Accept that your life will never be perfect but the circumstances are perfect for you to continually evolve yourself while you continually help to evolve others. 

You know you're being called to do more and to be more in your life.  There is a nagging feeling that just won't let you go.  No matter how many times you've tried to ignore it -or settle for a regular existence - it nags at you whispering - There Is Something More...

I get it....your calling can feel like a haunting.  

Maybe you've explored what your MORE is.  Maybe you've taken a course, attended a workshop, or you've taken action on your...

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3 Steps To UpLevel Your Life

“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” ~Rosa Luxemburg

I can only imagine if you’re anything like me, that you consistently feel a need to evolve and grow, to expand and ensure that you’re realizing your full potential.

I would also guess that you’re someone who at each level you aspire to, you run into new hold-backs, new limiting belief systems that you didn’t realize were there. Beliefs that run deep. Beliefs that wreak havoc on your best laid plans to go forward into your future without limits!

You’re most likely learning that, as you go forward and continue to allow yourself permission to follow your heart, that you’re realizing that your inner critic (that voice inside who tells you can't, you won't, you're not good...

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Setting Clear Intentions

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"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." ~ Confucius

Let's imagine that together you and I worked on creating some intentions for all areas of your life. In our process together, I would have you start with what it is that you deeply desire but rather than focus on the specifics around the desire, I would rather have you focus on the ESSENCE of your desire.

My favorite definition of the word essence is: the characteristic or intrinsic feature of a thing, which determines its identity; fundamental nature.

If you think about that - the fundamental nature - the identity - of something...you really get down to the CORE and the Truth of whatever it is that you desire.

And what's so cool about setting intentions via the coaching process is: when we...

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Fear of Loss

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Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Steeped in the need for growth and feeling worthy of experiencing and having MORE in your life – comes an,  almost always unconscious, ambivalence around wanting to grow but being afraid of it at the same time.

What's at the core of this is?  F.E.A.R.  

Sure, there is fear of change, fear of the unknown and going to a new level and what that will require of you.  But at a deeper level - there is a fear of losing what you have now - when you gain something new.  

In other words - the fear of loss.

This fear is there because of a...

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Knowing What You Really Want

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In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. ~Mahatma Gandhi


Personally, I think clarity is very underrated and de-valued , and too much attention is put on action and getting things done.

What I've found to be true in my own life, and in the lives of the clients I work with, that when you feel a strong pull  - a desperation - to get to a goal- or a finish line, usually it's because there is an unmet need that hasn't been fulfilled or paid attention to - vs. a value that is aching to be continually expressed.

In this article I wrote about the difference between Needs vs. Wants and it's a very, very important distinction.

However, our society as a whole...

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From Ambition to Meaning

life purpose self worth May 28, 2019

The other morning, during a conversation with a friend, the topic of ambition and the continual chase for more had come up.

My friend was discussing the fact that the continual climb to be better, to achieve goals, and to continually raise the bar, wasn't working anymore in terms of giving them that fulfilled feeling they normally had experienced.

The conversation reminded me of a Wayne Dyer movie I had watched a few years back: The Shift. The movie is all about The Shift we all experience where we go from living a life that is all about ambition and succeeding to graduating into a more purposeful life.

In the movie, Wayne explains that The Shift is usually preceded from a quantum moment - a moment where we realize there is not only MORE to life, but more to us and what we're here to...

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