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Pressure of Trying To Be Perfect

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"You are loved just for being who you are - just for existing.  You don't have to do anything to earn it.  Your shortcomings, your lack of self-esteem, physical perfection, or social and economic success - none of that matters.  No one can take this love away from you and it will always be here."  ~Ram Dass, "Be Love Now"

One myth is:  perfection is attainable. 

It definitely is not. 

What’s attainable is:  embracing and loving your perfections and your imperfections at the same time.

A second myth is:  people in the helping profession – such as coaches, therapists, healers, etc. - whom are committed to "the work"- have it all figured out. 

They/we definitely do not. 

In fact, those...

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Courage to Move Forward

The beautiful thing about having a deep desire to find your life's calling through your work's expression is - it's a wonderful excuse and catalyst to grow personally as well as professionally.  

If you think about it, many of the decisions you've made in the past most likely have come from what you thought you *should* do in certain areas vs. what you would have done if you didn't have any fear. 

Isn't it awesome when you realize that you don't have to live by your *shoulds* but rather by what your heart is urging you to do?   Think of it this way: *should* aligns with obligation and obligation stems from feeling undeserving. 

However, doing what you love and what would make your heart sing and bring you joy may have  hesitation around it too. ...

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Live A Life True To Yourself

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"You get courage by taking actions that are inconsistent with the reality that you're living in right now. By taking actions that are unrecognizable to you, you will ensure that you live a full life, using up all of yourself and all of your potential. Otherwise psychological laziness lands us in the cowardly, resigned vibration that can only bring us more of the same."~Debbie Ford

One of the hardest things to learn in life is how to embrace and accept yourself as you are without feeling as if you need to change in order to be accepted by others.

The reason why embracing, accepting and being yourself can feel so hard and challenging is because we all have the basic human need to feel loved and belong. 

Think about the inner conflict that...

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Stuck In A Past Pattern

Photo by Tamara Menzi on Unsplash

You hold the key to set yourself free from anything that is holding you back.  Now, knowing that in your head and feeling it in your heart - is another story! 

When you feel trapped in a past pattern where you want things to change but you can’t seem to figure out how to bring about those changes - this is an indication of, what I refer to as, a worth block.

A worth block is when you try to make a change in a certain area of your life and you feel an energetic block that keeps you from what you truly want. This block is something that you can’t put your finger on.  It’s unconscious and it’s frustrating to not know what the block exactly is or why it's keeping you stuck.  

To help shed...

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Breaking Old Habits

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If you've been trying unsuccessfully to change a habit, understand that there is usually one hidden advantage or liking for that particular behavior just below your conscious awareness.”  ~Hale Dwoskin

Steven Covey said it best when he said:  “Our character is a composite of our habits, which form a powerful factor in our lives.  Because habits are consistent, unconscious patterns, they constantly express our character and produce our effectiveness and ineffectiveness.” 

Covey says that "Habits have a strong gravitational pull - and breaking deeply imbedded habitual tendencies,  such as procrastination, impatience, criticalness and selfishness, involve more than just mere willpower. "

So what do...

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Fear of The Unknown

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In last week's article Keeping Commitments To Yourself I talked about conflicting priorities and if what you say you want isn't happening, you may be more committed to not changing for fear of losing something in your current life.

This fear of change also comes up because stepping into the unknown is cloudy.  You don’t know what lies on the other side of your decisions. 

Having a fear of the unknown is totally common - especially if you have a BIG Vision that you want to manifest and step into. You may daydream about things being different and better, but when you’re called on the carpet to actually commit those dreams to paper, it’s a whole different story.

Why is this?

When you are tasked with putting your Visions...

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Courage In The Face of Fear

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It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare.  It is because we do not dare that they are difficult.  ~ Seneca ~

Nothing will build your confidence faster than to have courage in the face of fear.  To act when your knees are shaking and your palms are sweating.  At that moment, you are taking a BIG leap of Faith  and you have no idea what will happen.  You are forced to jump and pray a net will be found! 

I bet you've had experiences where you've looked back on something you did that was scary and thought, “Wow, I can’t believe I did that!”.  Those are the moments when you get to see what you’re really made of, especially when you did something (or many things) that you...

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Fear of Being Arrogant

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The other day I had a conversation with a friend who shared how worried she was about a health issue reoccurring in her life.  She was having some symptoms that felt familiar and started to go into a spiral of fear that her former health issues were returning. 

We talked about her shifting her thoughts.  Thinking positive.  Letting go of negative images and envisioning a good outcome.

This friend is like a fish to water when it comes to embracing a more positive mindset. Yet,  for some reason she was resisting this approach.

She prayed about it and then prayed some more.  Then, all of a sudden, it dawned on her. She realized that she’s held onto a lifelong pattern of being worried, fearful and scared when it...

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Owning Your Story

Photo by Calum Lewis on Unsplash

I watched the most interesting documentary on Netflix this weekend titled:  Tell Me Who I Am.  You can watch the trailer by clicking here.

***Spoiler Alert & Disclaimer:  If you don’t want any spoilers to the documentary, stop reading now, go watch and then come back.  Also, before watching please know that the documentary discusses sexual abuse and has very sensitive content.

As the trailer describes, the story is about two twin brothers, Alex and Lewis. 

At age eighteen Alex was seriously injured in a motorcycle accident and lost all his memory.  The only person he recognized when he woke up was his twin brother Marcus.  He didn’t even recognize his own mother but he knew his twin and...

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Judgement vs. Discernment

Photo by Agence Olloweb on Unsplash

“Make no judgments where you have no compassion.” ~Anne McCaffrey

Judgment gets a bad rap in our society.

You hear people tell us that judging is bad and you shouldn't judge another or yourself.

I agree. 

Yet in order to function in life you do need have a tool that allows you to observe behavior and make determinations that serve you and your well being.

This key is to know the difference between judging and discernment. 

Judging is making a critical observation and concluding that you are better than the person you are judging.  This is also true for how your inner critic tries to control you through judgement of yourself!  

Discernment is the act of observing someone's behavior and making...

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