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Self Help Addiction

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Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. ~Thomas Leonard

Last week I had a conversation with a close friend about how we all can get into the trap of self-help addiction and believing that paying attention to your growth and evolution means fixing yourself.

In other words, there is something wrong with you that needs to be helped, (a.k.a. self-help).

Not true. There isn't anything wrong with you - and nothing that needs to be "fixed". 

Even Iyanla Vanzant, who has her own show on OWN called Iyanla Fix My Life - insists that she doesn't fix anyone's life but gives people the tools to do it themselves.

That is really the key:  realizing you have the power vs. believing that you need to fixed or changed in...

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Feeling Guilty For Wanting MORE?

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“Believe you can and you're halfway there.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

In your life you’ve most likely doubted yourself, your abilities, and your overall self-worth at some point, right?

Well, that’s actually a really good thing (say what?!?) because if you didn’t feel self-doubt, or struggle with your overall worthiness, then you wouldn’t be living up to your full potential and experiencing the growth and evolution that your soul longs for.

See, your dreams, desires, and adventures that you long manifest into reality - have absolutely nothing to do with your overall worthiness or feeling deserving, or ‘good enough’ - but in actuality, have everything to do with what your soul came to experience and needs...

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Fear of Being Too Much

 “It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”  ~Marianne Williamson

If you’ve been on the self-discovery path for a some time, there is no doubt that you’ve come up against, wrestled with and hopefully transformed your “not enough” beliefs.

 And, even though each new level that you go to, you’ll inevitably face new “not enough” beliefs, rest assured that you’ll no doubt continue to tackle these as you have the tools and awareness you’ll need. 

 Yet, what about when you face “too much” beliefs? 

“Too much” beliefs don’t get talked about as much – but they are just as prevalent on the Claim Your Worth!® path – and can be just as...

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Negative vs. Unworthy Thinking

Negative thinking is something that I believe you can identify easier than unworthy thinking.

I believe you can talk yourself out of a bad mood – it takes effort but you can do it.

Trying to talk yourself out of unworthiness? Well, that requires experience – a direct experience and shift in your soul.

Negative thinking looks and sounds like: Ugh, really? Traffic again? Why does this always happen to me when I have somewhere to be? Why do I always attract this into my life? Why can’t I catch a break?

Unworthy thinking is more unconscious.

In a moment where something on the outside triggers you, you begin to feel that same way again – this experience sparked something deep down inside you – and you begin to FEEL and then THINK those same old feelings of: "I...

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Knowing What You Really Want

Photo by Dana Marin on Unsplash

In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in a clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. ~Mahatma Gandhi


Personally, I think clarity is very underrated and de-valued , and too much attention is put on action and getting things done.

What I've found to be true in my own life, and in the lives of the clients I work with, that when you feel a strong pull  - a desperation - to get to a goal- or a finish line, usually it's because there is an unmet need that hasn't been fulfilled or paid attention to - vs. a value that is aching to be continually expressed.

In this article I wrote about the difference between Needs vs. Wants and it's a very, very important distinction.

However, our society as a whole...

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Being Your Own Person

“If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.”  ~Johann von Goethe

In order to live the life you were designed to live - it’s critical to understand yourself at the deepest level. 

Yet, most of us were taught to cover-up the core of who we are in order to be accepted by others in both our original family of origin, and our peer groups growing up. 

Becoming who you were designed to be is a courageous act because it requires you to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.  It requires you to understand that not everyone is going to approve of what you do and who you commit to becoming.

The most important and courageous act in being your own person is:  accepting and loving ALL parts of yourself first and...

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