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Knowing Who You Can Trust

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If you’ve ever had a struggle or a really difficult circumstance in your life, you most likely wanted to share the struggle with someone you trust and who can help you through it. 

Yet, at one point (or many points), you may have found yourself feeling worse after sharing your struggle with someone who didn't support you in the way you needed them to.  

In this discussion with Oprah, Brene Brown speaks to this exact situation in what she refers to as: 6 People Who Do Not Deserve To Hear Your Shame Story.  

It’s powerful to realize that you may have chosen to be vulnerable with the wrong person.  You may have chosen to be open with someone who hasn’t learned to be open with themselves.

So often on your...

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How To Make Yourself A Priority

Photo by Rhand McCoy on Unsplash

Your heart knows the way.  Run in that direction.  ~Rumi

Oftentimes there is a big disconnect between what your heart  deeply desires and what your head tells you that you’re capable and worthy of.   

It’s one thing to say what you want and it’s another thing to believe with every cell of your being that you’re worthy of receiving it. 

In coaching sessions, we always go for the root of what is holding someone back.  What we most often discover is something that’s totally unconscious. 

The challenges faced usually sounds something like this:  “I don’t know what it is – I just can’t do it. I know what I want, I can see it, I journal around it, write ideas in...

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Longing To Just BE

Photo by Yoann Boyer on Unsplash

There comes a time in life when you hit a crossroads and realize that your old ways of ‘being’ and ‘doing’ just aren’t working anymore. 

If you’re anything like me, you are a go-getter.  Someone who is great at making things happen ‘out there’ and you’ve prided yourself on your past accomplishments and ability to achieve at whatever level that you’ve raised the bar to. 

Yet, quite often us go-getter's long for more silence and peace but aren't sure how to give ourselves permission to have it.

For years I was driven and motivated by my head.  My head  believed (and still does!) that my worth and value came from outside of me – through my outer...

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Owning Your Story

Photo by Calum Lewis on Unsplash

I watched the most interesting documentary on Netflix this weekend titled:  Tell Me Who I Am.  You can watch the trailer by clicking here.

***Spoiler Alert & Disclaimer:  If you don’t want any spoilers to the documentary, stop reading now, go watch and then come back.  Also, before watching please know that the documentary discusses sexual abuse and has very sensitive content.

As the trailer describes, the story is about two twin brothers, Alex and Lewis. 

At age eighteen Alex was seriously injured in a motorcycle accident and lost all his memory.  The only person he recognized when he woke up was his twin brother Marcus.  He didn’t even recognize his own mother but he knew his twin and...

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Judgement vs. Discernment

Photo by Agence Olloweb on Unsplash

“Make no judgments where you have no compassion.” ~Anne McCaffrey

Judgment gets a bad rap in our society.

You hear people tell us that judging is bad and you shouldn't judge another or yourself.

I agree. 

Yet in order to function in life you do need have a tool that allows you to observe behavior and make determinations that serve you and your well being.

This key is to know the difference between judging and discernment. 

Judging is making a critical observation and concluding that you are better than the person you are judging.  This is also true for how your inner critic tries to control you through judgement of yourself!  

Discernment is the act of observing someone's behavior and making...

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We Teach What We Most Need To Learn

Photo by Ivan Dodig on Unsplash

“We work on ourselves in order to help others, but also we help others in order to work on ourselves.”  — Pema Chödrön

The biggest misconception many people have is - believing that those that are called to teach and coach have it all figured out. We don’t. That’s the point.

Oftentimes I’ve found myself begrudging my circumstances - whether present or past thinking:  “This isn’t right. This shouldn’t be happening to me. Haven’t I transcended and outgrown this by now?”
These questions always served me a nice big piece of humble pie.

I’ve learned through direct experience that if you are committed to being of true service in this world, then...

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Stop Hiding From Yourself and Others

Photo by Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash

"If the shoe doesn't fit, must we change the foot?" ~Gloria Steinem

To me, this quote by Gloria Steinem is incredibly powerful.

It speaks to what most of us are taught to do from a very early age, change and hide who we really are in order to "fit-into" situations that are uncomfortable but needed for our survival.

Have you ever considered that the parts of you that you thought were your hold-backs were just protection mechanisms?

Have you ever considered that you needed to hide away parts of you that are LIGHT, bright, capable, strong, and glowing - in order to not outshine or intimidate others?

Consider Gloria's question: "If the shoe doesn't fit, must we change the foot?"

Unfortunately most of us are taught unconsciously to...

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How To Not Settle For Less

Photo by Miguel Orós on Unsplash

"I ain't settling for just getting by. I've had enough "so so" for the rest of my life.  Tired of shooting too low, so raise the bar high.   Just enough ain't enough this time.  I ain't settling for anything less than everything!" ~Lyrics from Ainít Settlin, Sugarland 

How many times have you felt like your heart and soul have urged you to explore the MORE within  - yet a part of you crops up to remind you to: "Don't even think about it  - it's not meant for you, stay where you are, youíre safer here..."?

If you take the word Settle - and explore the opposite of it, (thanks to www.opposite-word.com) you find the words: "confuse, mix up, unsettle". 

No wonder it feels scary to...

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Feeling Invisible In Life

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“Can you see me? Can you hear me? Does anything I say mean anything to you?”― Oprah Winfrey

I heard Oprah Winfrey say that in all her years of interviewing people that what everyone wants to know is: Do You See Me? 

Being seen means so much more than in the literal sense of being seen.

Sure you see folks wear bright colors or a sexy outfit to be seen, but this is a different kind of seeing – a seeing that goes beyond the surface and the exterior.  The question really is:  Do you see me for who I really am – as a unique individual – ENOUGH  - just as I am – imperfections and all?

As with everything in life, anytime you want to be authentically recognized, validated, heard and...

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Who Is In Your Inner Circle?

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”  ~Jim Rohn                     

Most of us have a deep down fear of not only disappointing others, but more accurately, having them abandon us if we change.   

What I’ve learned is:  relationships cannot be a default in your life.  You can’t allow people to be around you just because they’ve been around you for years.

As Jim Rohn’s statement says above, you truly are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.  Now, the BIG question is:  does that statement inspire you or scare...

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