When you feel overwhelmed by all there is to do - you feel powerless and buried under a heap of responsibilities. You may often struggle with feeling stuck and unmotivated and hear your inner critic voice say - "Why bother even trying - it's not going to make a difference anyways.
If you've struggled with a consistent pattern of feeling overwhelmed, stressed, tired and burnt-out - by all there is to DO - and never feeling like you will be able to catch-up, then I invite you to look a little deeper and determine what may be driving you to want to feel overwhelmed.
Wanting to feel overwhelmed? Are you crazy? Who would want that!?
Consider this - when you crave more time, more space, more balance, more sanity in your life - and then you...
If you identify yourself with being a can-do, go-getter, overachiever who has a track-record of getting things done - then being stuck in a rut is probably the worst feeling you could feel. It goes against the grain of everything you know about yourself and it hits hard to your identity and how you see yourself – and, where you source your value.
Imagine for a moment that you source your value and self-worth from giving.
Consider that you get a hit of adrenaline every time you accomplish, give, or prove that you’re valuable by doing or giving - whether it’s to someone or something – it feels good to get it done or provide because it feeds something in you – albeit temporarily.
Yet, at the same time, you may feel resentful and...
I've had clients ask me: what does that truly mean to give your power away?
What is your power anyway?
Your power is your sense of self. It's your definition of who you think you are - who you know yourself to be. What you believe you're capable of and what you believe you're worthy of. Your power is your self-worth.
We've been taught to hand our sense of self over to the outside world. To believe that others opinions define us. Or, that material possessions or worldly success can give a sense of self - some validation that we've "made it", that we're whole, and that somehow, the outer world can fulfill us.
Relying on the outside world for any sense of self-worth is not only fleeting and totally temporary, but it's also extremely risky and absolutely draining.
Do you ever wonder what the difference is between your self-esteem and your self-worth?
The two are very closely aligned like brother and sister are in the bloodline.
Yet, there is also a major distinction to be made between the two - and, as a disclaimer, whatever I describe below is based on my own experience and beliefs and certainly isn't the only way in which to view the distinction.
Your self-esteem is how you feel about yourself based on your actions. It's what you have control over. Its how you feel about yourself from the inside/out. Overall, are you proud of yourself for who you are, what you stand for and what actions you take and don't take based on the values that you choose to orient your life around?
Your self-worth, has a much more spiritual...
The other day I realized that I repeated (yet again) a past pattern that has caused me enormous pain and confusion.
As I sat there feeling that all too familiar punch in the gut pain, I thought: “Geez, I must not have much self-respect to keep doing this to myself…”.
My head then began to take me on a rollercoaster ride of judgement – where I began to feel worse *thinking* thoughts such as: “Other stronger, more worldly women - would never continually subject themselves to this type of pain. You must be weak – and they simply have more self-respect for themselves.”
So, then as I habitually do, I went outside myself to get a better understanding of what the outside world could tell me about self-judgement....
Most of us are stuck in unconscious thought patterns that don't serve and keep us stuck in the past or the future – and how most of us don’t value the NOW.
We all hear this message “out there” in various forms and messages. Be Present. Stay in the moment. All we have is NOW. The present is a present.
True, but how do you apply these concepts to your life? How do you realize what being in the NOW actually gives to your life right now?
The whole concept of being in the NOW is to give yourself the gift (a.k.a. present) of connecting with Truth vs. listening to the voice in your head. We all have the mind chatter that wants to keep feeding off the past – or focusing on what may (or may not) happen in the...
If there is anything in your sabotager’s toolkit that will squelch your dreams the quickest - it will be comparing yourself to others – and looking for evidence on how they are better, more qualified, more creative, more successful, more ‘in the know’ than you.
And if there is anything that I could stress when it comes to your career/business (and life), it would be this: Be You and only YOU. No one else can ‘do’ you, or do what you do the way you do it, period!
Yet, the sad truth is, many folks want to copy other people’s models, plans, and ‘ways’ of doing things and simply be fed their ideas, to get a quick fix – and have a band-aid be put on their most immediate problem. The problem could be...
I heard the other that day that we humans process 125-250 words per minute when we are communicating with others - whether we’re speaking or are being spoken to. Yet, when we think in our own minds, we form thoughts that are 1000-3000 words per minute.
Pretty incredible huh?
A couple of lessons come out of this Truth.
Number one is - when you aren’t fully present when you are communicating with another - your mind is very active. This means that you aren’t listening to what the other is truly saying - but *thinking* about what you’re either going to say next- or making assumptions based on what they’re saying. In either scenario, you are more in your own mind than you are in the present moment.
Same is true for the second Truth which...
Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore.Dream. Discover"
-- MARK TWAIN
Several years ago when I was in a major transition period of reinventing my life and my work, I was feeling a need for something, I just wasn't sure what that something was.
I had just finished up work with a coach to help me with some tactical things - and was now at a stage where I knew I needed some support and some encouragement, but in a much deeper way.
One day while listening to a radio show, I heard a woman who was being interviewed about her personal history and background, and her coaching philosophy. I...
When was the last time you sat down and acknowledged yourself for what youve accomplished, overcome, realized about yourself, contributed to others, etc. - in the last few months, and even the last several years?
Do you have a memory of this or is the answer - not so much. Or never?
If you havent been making it a ritual to acknowledge yourself and how much progress and contribution you make every day and every year - then I highly recommend making this a new habit in your life.
Most of us were brought up to believe that to acknowledge yourself for anything means that youre a show-off, know-it-all, or youre self-absorbed. And as a result of this, there is a subconscious fear and message running like a tape drive in your mind saying whatever you do, its never going to be...