Photo by Grant Ritchie on Unsplash
“There is a time in our lives, usually at mid-life, when a woman has to make a decision- possibly the most important psychic decision of her future life – and that is, whether to be bitter or not. Women often come to this in their late thirties or early forties. They are at the point where they are full up to their ears with everything and they’ve “had it” and “the last straw has broken the camel’s back” and they’re “pissed off and pooped out.” Their dreams of their twenties may be lying in a crumple. They may be with broken hearts, broken marriages, broken promises.” ~Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ from Women Who Run With The Wolves
The statement above is from the fabulous book - ...
The other morning, during a conversation with a friend, the topic of ambition and the continual chase for more had come up.
My friend was discussing the fact that the continual climb to be better, to achieve goals, and to continually raise the bar, wasn't working anymore in terms of giving them that fulfilled feeling they normally had experienced.
The conversation reminded me of a Wayne Dyer movie I had watched a few years back: The Shift. The movie is all about The Shift we all experience where we go from living a life that is all about ambition and succeeding to graduating into a more purposeful life.
In the movie, Wayne explains that The Shift is usually preceded from a quantum moment - a moment where you realize there is not only MORE to life, but more to you and what you're here to...
It’s inevitable, when you set a strong intention to change your life for the better, all sorts of emotions crop-up that you didn’t expect.
Learning to honor those emotions – all of them – is the KEY to transformation.
Often we don’t realize that our daily lives are playing out patterns from the past – and unconsciously we are each trying to heal old wounds by trying to “do it better” this time around.
And always, when you set a strong intention to experience something new, something better, something different than what you’re used to – painful and very uncomfortable emotions will crop-up.
Truth is: you are more comfortable with the familiar – what you know – what’s...
When you feel overwhelmed by all there is to do - you feel powerless and buried under a heap of responsibilities. You may often struggle with feeling stuck and unmotivated and hear your inner critic voice say - "Why bother even trying - it's not going to make a difference anyways.
If you've struggled with a consistent pattern of feeling overwhelmed, stressed, tired and burnt-out - by all there is to DO - and never feeling like you will be able to catch-up, then I invite you to look a little deeper and determine what may be driving you to want to feel overwhelmed.
Wanting to feel overwhelmed? Are you crazy? Who would want that!?
Consider this - when you crave more time, more space, more balance, more sanity in your life - and then you...
“If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise.” ~Johann von Goethe
In order to live the life you were designed to live - it’s critical to understand yourself at the deepest level.
Yet, most of us were taught to cover-up the core of who we are in order to be accepted by others in both our original family of origin, and our peer groups growing up.
Becoming who you were designed to be is a courageous act because it requires you to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. It requires you to understand that not everyone is going to approve of what you do and who you commit to becoming.
The most important and courageous act in being your own person is: accepting and loving ALL parts of yourself first and...
If you identify yourself with being a can-do, go-getter, overachiever who has a track-record of getting things done - then being stuck in a rut is probably the worst feeling you could feel. It goes against the grain of everything you know about yourself and it hits hard to your identity and how you see yourself – and, where you source your value.
Imagine for a moment that you source your value and self-worth from giving.
Consider that you get a hit of adrenaline every time you accomplish, give, or prove that you’re valuable by doing or giving - whether it’s to someone or something – it feels good to get it done or provide because it feeds something in you – albeit temporarily.
Yet, at the same time, you may feel resentful and...
I've had clients ask me: what does that truly mean to give your power away?
What is your power anyway?
Your power is your sense of self. It's your definition of who you think you are - who you know yourself to be. What you believe you're capable of and what you believe you're worthy of. Your power is your self-worth.
We've been taught to hand our sense of self over to the outside world. To believe that others opinions define us. Or, that material possessions or worldly success can give a sense of self - some validation that we've "made it", that we're whole, and that somehow, the outer world can fulfill us.
Relying on the outside world for any sense of self-worth is not only fleeting and totally temporary, but it's also extremely risky and absolutely draining.
Do you ever wonder what the difference is between your self-esteem and your self-worth?
The two are very closely aligned like brother and sister are in the bloodline.
Yet, there is also a major distinction to be made between the two - and, as a disclaimer, whatever I describe below is based on my own experience and beliefs and certainly isn't the only way in which to view the distinction.
Your self-esteem is how you feel about yourself based on your actions. It's what you have control over. Its how you feel about yourself from the inside/out. Overall, are you proud of yourself for who you are, what you stand for and what actions you take and don't take based on the values that you choose to orient your life around?
Your self-worth, has a much more spiritual...
The other day I realized that I repeated (yet again) a past pattern that has caused me enormous pain and confusion.
As I sat there feeling that all too familiar punch in the gut pain, I thought: “Geez, I must not have much self-respect to keep doing this to myself…”.
My head then began to take me on a rollercoaster ride of judgement – where I began to feel worse *thinking* thoughts such as: “Other stronger, more worldly women - would never continually subject themselves to this type of pain. You must be weak – and they simply have more self-respect for themselves.”
So, then as I habitually do, I went outside myself to get a better understanding of what the outside world could tell me about self-judgement....
If there is anything in your sabotager’s toolkit that will squelch your dreams the quickest - it will be comparing yourself to others – and looking for evidence on how they are better, more qualified, more creative, more successful, more ‘in the know’ than you.
And if there is anything that I could stress when it comes to your career/business (and life), it would be this: Be You and only YOU. No one else can ‘do’ you, or do what you do the way you do it, period!
Yet, the sad truth is, many folks want to copy other people’s models, plans, and ‘ways’ of doing things and simply be fed their ideas, to get a quick fix – and have a band-aid be put on their most immediate problem. The problem could be...