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One of the most common, and biggest untruths that I see in coaching work with clients is when someone believes their power is outside of them. This belief shows up in a variety of ways depending on where you are in your life stage.
Take work for example.
If you work for someone else, you no doubt have felt, at one point or another, that your employer/your boss has power over your well-being. Your fear may be that if you mess up or disappoint them, you'd be fired and your own sense of safety and security would be threatened.
Or say you work for yourself.
You may feel this belief even stronger - where you don't have the consistent income (a.k.a Source) of an employer plopping money into your account every other week. ...
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Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back. ~Harvey MacKay
How do you make sure that you keep your aspirations and dreams for the future alive while you have a bunch of screaming priorities in your everyday life that you're trying to juggle?
Also, how can you balance your need for everyday peace while making progress towards your future?
One suggestion is: Spend one hour a day on your dream.
Easier said than done, I know. Yet, it is possible.
A trick I’ve found useful is to give yourself a time limit on your dreaming. The key is: you definitely don’t go under that...
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In last week's article Keeping Commitments To Yourself I talked about conflicting priorities and if what you say you want isn't happening, you may be more committed to not changing for fear of losing something in your current life.
This fear of change also comes up because stepping into the unknown is cloudy. You don’t know what lies on the other side of your decisions.
Having a fear of the unknown is totally common - especially if you have a BIG Vision that you want to manifest and step into. You may daydream about things being different and better, but when you’re called on the carpet to actually commit those dreams to paper, it’s a whole different story.
Why is this?
When you are tasked with putting your Visions...
“The biggest commitment you must keep is the commitment you keep to yourself.” ~Neale Donald Walsch
Do you fear being judged if you share your dreams with anyone, even yourself? Do you have resistance to writing your dreams down? If so, you may fear two things when it comes to sharing your deep heart's desire:
1) Hearing your own critical voice judging you.
2) Hearing judgement from other people (especially people closest to you) and losing their love if you step into a new, authentic version of yourself.
I read recently that one of the top 6 fears that people have about succeeding and changing is the fear of losing love.
Therefore you may stay stuck for fear of making others feel...
If you’ve ever had a struggle or a really difficult circumstance in your life, you most likely wanted to share the struggle with someone you trust and who can help you through it.
Yet, at one point (or many points), you may have found yourself feeling worse after sharing your struggle with someone who didn't support you in the way you needed them to.
In this discussion with Oprah, Brene Brown speaks to this exact situation in what she refers to as: 6 People Who Do Not Deserve To Hear Your Shame Story.
It’s powerful to realize that you may have chosen to be vulnerable with the wrong person. You may have chosen to be open with someone who hasn’t learned to be open with themselves.
So often on your...
Your heart knows the way. Run in that direction. ~Rumi
Oftentimes there is a big disconnect between what your heart deeply desires and what your head tells you that you’re capable and worthy of.
It’s one thing to say what you want and it’s another thing to believe with every cell of your being that you’re worthy of receiving it.
In coaching sessions, we always go for the root of what is holding someone back. What we most often discover is something that’s totally unconscious.
The challenges faced usually sounds something like this: “I don’t know what it is – I just can’t do it. I know what I want, I can see it, I journal around it, write ideas in...
It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare. It is because we do not dare that they are difficult. ~ Seneca ~
Nothing will build your confidence faster than to have courage in the face of fear. To act when your knees are shaking and your palms are sweating. At that moment, you are taking a BIG leap of Faith and you have no idea what will happen. You are forced to jump and pray a net will be found!
I bet you've had experiences where you've looked back on something you did that was scary and thought, “Wow, I can’t believe I did that!”. Those are the moments when you get to see what you’re really made of, especially when you did something (or many things) that you...
The other day I had a conversation with a friend who shared how worried she was about a health issue reoccurring in her life. She was having some symptoms that felt familiar and started to go into a spiral of fear that her former health issues were returning.
We talked about her shifting her thoughts. Thinking positive. Letting go of negative images and envisioning a good outcome.
This friend is like a fish to water when it comes to embracing a more positive mindset. Yet, for some reason she was resisting this approach.
She prayed about it and then prayed some more. Then, all of a sudden, it dawned on her. She realized that she’s held onto a lifelong pattern of being worried, fearful and scared when it...
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There comes a time in life when you hit a crossroads and realize that your old ways of ‘being’ and ‘doing’ just aren’t working anymore.
If you’re anything like me, you are a go-getter. Someone who is great at making things happen ‘out there’ and you’ve prided yourself on your past accomplishments and ability to achieve at whatever level that you’ve raised the bar to.
Yet, quite often us go-getter's long for more silence and peace but aren't sure how to give ourselves permission to have it.
For years I was driven and motivated by my head. My head believed (and still does!) that my worth and value came from outside of me – through my outer...
I’ve learned first-hand that what you’re skilled at isn’t always what you’re gifted at. The two can beautifully blended together but both must be put in their proper places in order for you to discover your true purpose and to experience effortless joy in your work.
Even though I am a certified life and career coach, I never had any formal training to teach me the “type” of coaching that I do.
My ability to help others transform how they see themselves and as a result - feel more confident, grounded, courageous and better in their own skin – comes very natural to me – but again – it’s work that I could never be “trained” to do.
Rather, the work that I do has come – and continues to come...