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3 Steps to Having Real Confidence

I've had clients ask me: what does that truly mean to give your power away?

What is your power anyway?

Great question!

Your power is your sense of self. It's your definition of who you think you are - who you know yourself to be.   What you believe you're capable of and what you believe you're worthy of. Your power is your self-worth.


We've been taught to hand our sense of self over to the outside world. To believe that others opinions define us. Or, that material possessions or worldly success can give a sense of self - some validation that we've "made it", that we're whole, and that somehow, the outer world can fulfill us.


Relying on the outside world for any sense of self-worth is not only fleeting and totally temporary, but it's also extremely risky and absolutely draining.

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Self Worth vs. Self Esteem

self worth Apr 14, 2019

Do you ever wonder what the difference is between your self-esteem and your self-worth? 

The two are very closely aligned  like brother and sister are in the bloodline. 

Yet, there is also a major distinction to be made between the two - and, as a disclaimer, whatever I describe below is based on my own experience and beliefs  and certainly isn't the only way in which to view the distinction.

Your self-esteem is how you feel about yourself based on your actions. It's what you have control over. Its how you feel about yourself from the inside/out. Overall, are you proud of yourself for who you are, what you stand for and what actions you take and don't take based on the values that you choose to orient your life around?

Your self-worth, has a much more spiritual...

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What Is Self Respect?

The other day I realized that I repeated (yet again) a past pattern that has caused me enormous pain and confusion.   

As I sat there feeling that all too familiar punch in the gut pain, I thought: “Geez, I must not have much self-respect to keep doing this to myself…”.

My head then began to take me on a rollercoaster ride of judgement – where I began to feel worse *thinking* thoughts such as:  “Other stronger, more worldly women - would never continually subject themselves to this type of pain.  You must be weak  – and they simply have more self-respect for themselves.”

Ouch.

So, then as I habitually do, I went outside myself to get a better understanding of what the outside world could tell me about self-judgement....

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Living In The Present Moment

Most of us are stuck in unconscious thought patterns that don't serve and keep us stuck in the past or the future  – and how most of us don’t value the NOW.

 We all hear this message “out there” in various forms and messages.  Be Present.  Stay in the moment.  All we have is NOW.  The present is a present. 

True, but how do you apply these concepts to your life?  How do you realize what being in the NOW actually gives to your life right now?

The whole concept of being in the NOW is to give yourself the gift (a.k.a. present) of connecting with Truth vs. listening to the voice in your head.  We all have the mind chatter that wants to keep feeding off the past – or focusing on what may (or may not) happen in the...

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Comparing Yourself to Others

Uncategorized Apr 01, 2019

If there is anything in your sabotager’s toolkit that will squelch your dreams  the quickest - it will be comparing yourself to others – and looking for evidence on how they are better, more qualified, more creative, more successful, more ‘in the know’ than you. 

And if there is anything that I could stress when it comes to your career/business (and life), it would be this:  Be You and only YOU.  No one else can ‘do’ you, or do what you do the way you do it, period! 

Yet, the sad truth is, many folks want to copy other people’s models, plans, and ‘ways’ of doing things and simply be fed their ideas, to get a quick fix – and have a band-aid be put on their most immediate problem.  The problem could be...

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When Your Mind Races - This is Why

mindset quality of life Mar 26, 2019

I heard the other that day that we humans process 125-250 words per minute when we are communicating with others - whether we’re speaking or are being spoken to.  Yet, when we think in our own minds, we form thoughts that are 1000-3000 words per minute.

Pretty incredible huh?

A couple of lessons come out of this Truth.

Number one is - when you aren’t fully present when you are communicating with another - your mind is very active.  This means that you aren’t listening to what the other is truly saying - but *thinking* about what you’re either going to say next- or making assumptions based on what they’re saying.  In either scenario, you are more in your own mind than you are in the present moment.

Same is true for the second Truth which...

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What You Resists Persists

resistance self worth Mar 25, 2019

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore.Dream. Discover"
-- MARK TWAIN

Several years ago  when I was in a major transition period of reinventing my life and my work, I was feeling a need for something, I just wasn't sure what that something was. 

I had just finished up work with a coach to help me with some tactical things - and was now at a stage where I knew I needed some support and some encouragement, but in a much deeper way. 

One day while listening to a radio show, I heard a woman who was being interviewed about her personal history and background, and her coaching philosophy. I...

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How To Give Yourself Credit

self worth Mar 15, 2019

When was the last time you sat down and acknowledged yourself for what youve accomplished, overcome, realized about yourself, contributed to others, etc. - in the last few months, and even the last several years?

Do you have a memory of this or is the answer - not so much. Or never?

If you havent been making it a ritual to acknowledge yourself and how much progress and contribution you make every day  and every year - then I highly recommend making this a new habit in your life.

Most of us were brought up to believe that to acknowledge yourself for anything means that youre a show-off, know-it-all, or youre self-absorbed. And as a result of this, there is a subconscious fear and message running like a tape drive in your mind saying  whatever you do, its never going to be...

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Fate vs. Destiny

personal power Feb 25, 2019

We all have a story we tell ourselves about how worthy or unworthy we feel based on past and current circumstances.

And, most everyone looks to create something in the future to transcend the circumstances that made you (or are making you) feel unworthy...and....hold onto the circumstances that you feel give you worth.

But have you ever considered that trying to create your life keeps you stuck in what you *think* you *should* do and have vs. allowing what is meant for you to happen?

The past two years have opened my own eyes to how mind driven I’ve been.  How, even though, I’ve been following spiritual practice and “teachers”, I was still more committed to giving my mind the power and trying to control what happens vs. allowing what is meant to happen,...

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Why We Self Sabotage

“Self sabotage is when we say we want something and we go about making sure it doesn’t happen” ~Alyce P. Cornyn-Selby

You know what it is that you deeply want. You have it on a vision board or maybe you’ve written it down.

Regardless of the way in which you’ve formulated your vision, you have a good idea of what you yearn to manifest in your life.

Then why, do you sometimes take two steps forward and one (maybe two, three or twenty!) steps back just when you’re beginning to feel great, make progress and see results? 

Self sabotage could be at play.

When you find yourself taking steps forward towards your vision and then suddenly, or gradually, find yourself stopping, or backing off considerably - give thought and consideration to there may be a...

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