Where Does Self Worth Come From?

“Be yourself, not your idea of what you think somebody else's idea of yourself should be.”  Henry David Thoreau

According to Dictionary.com, the word “chase”  has many definitions.  All of them amount to key words such as:  to pursue in to order to seize, overtake; to capture or kill, as game; hunt; to follow or devote one's attention to with the hope of attracting, winning, gaining;  to drive or expel by force, threat, or harassment.

 When you look-up “claim” on Dictionary.com, you find definitions including:  to demand by or as by virtue of a right; demand as a right or as due; to assert and demand the recognition of (a right, title, possession, etc.); assert one's right to; to assert or maintain as a fact;  to require as due or fitting. 

Based on these definitions, chasing sounds very aggressive and forceful.  It also sounds less confident and that it requires a lot of struggle and work.  

Claiming on the other hand doesn’t sound like work or struggle.  It sounds more powerful, more magnetic. 
It feels plentiful and abundant.

Do you agree?

Imagine trying to chase down your worth as feeling in a rush to make something happen.  When you feel as if you need something outside of yourself to feel better.  You need some affirmation from something or someone to help you feel more secure, more defined.   Or you feel internally that you need to prove yourself – either to yourself or someone else.  The motivations are vast and the outer manifestations are overwhelming.  

There are many reasons why most of us feel we need to look outside ourselves to get a sense of worth, a sense of importance, a sense of meaning. 

We've been programmed to do this.  The programming goes something like this:  Your source for – love, affirmation, fulfillment, validation, etc. is outside of you.  Therefore, you better get people to like you at any cost.  Do whatever it takes to obtain an image that is likable and acceptable because “out there” has your worth.  

It is scary how this programming happened and continues to happen.  

Give this statement by J.K. Rowlings considerable thought: 

"It is our choices
that show what
we truly are,
far more than
our abilities."

To help you decipher chasing vs. claiming your worth, give the following questions some thought:  

  • How have I tried to define myself by my abilities and what I can do? 

  • Where have I felt that I needed to “make-up” for some lack or inferiority in myself that needed something outside of me to make me appear more appealing or acceptable? 

  • When it comes to my worth, what are my deepest longings?  What matters most to me?   

  • How can I commit to being congruent in my choices to manifest this within myself, my life and relationships? 

Have fun contemplating and answering these questions!


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