What Is Self Respect?

The other day I realized that I repeated (yet again) a past pattern that has caused me enormous pain and confusion.   

As I sat there feeling that all too familiar punch in the gut pain, I thought: “Geez, I must not have much self-respect to keep doing this to myself…”.

My head then began to take me on a rollercoaster ride of judgement – where I began to feel worse *thinking* thoughts such as:  “Other stronger, more worldly women - would never continually subject themselves to this type of pain.  You must be weak  – and they simply have more self-respect for themselves.”


So, then as I habitually do, I went outside myself to get a better understanding of what the outside world could tell me about self-judgement.  

According to Dictionary.com, self-respect is defined as:  “proper esteem or regard for the dignity of one’s character.”

Ouch again.

The dignity of one’s character huh?  Oh boy, now I feel worse – and sure enough, the negative thoughts began popping like popcorn  “I must have zero self-respect to keep enduring this painful pattern – and keep doing this to myself. ”  

But then, as I stayed with the thought about my lack of self-respect, I witnessed the thought without judgement and I realized three critically important things:

1) This pain was old – from very long ago.   I kept re-enacting it in present day so someone, anyone – could acknowledge that I experienced this type of searing pain and witness it happened.

2) I’m that someone I’ve been looking for – I’m the someone I need to acknowledge this pain and hold me in it – without judgement.  I kept *thinking* that the answer, the healing, the comfort – was outside of me – when in Truth – it’s all within.

3) True Self Respect is about loving ALL of you – all of your thinking, all of your judgements, all of your actions, all of your “mistakes” and “bad” decisions – and being with it ALL, without judgement.

We are taught that we need to be better, do better, make better decisions – be a good person.  This sets each of us up for failure because trying to be 1/2 of you doesn’t make a whole.

Imagine embracing yourself – all of your negative thoughts, all the judgements you hold against yourself and others – and just embracing it all without judgement – just being there with it all?

To give yourself this GIFT of presence is truly transformational – trust me I know from first-hand experience.

What I also know deep down is:  my SELF respects me no matter what because my True SELF doesn’t judge or make me wrong for anything.  My SELF embraces all of me – the Light and the Dark – which is very freeing.  

In a nutshell, my SELF and your SELF – respects you and holds you in high regard no matter what you do.  SELF Respect.

Feeling this kind of self-respect and love come from within, you better believe feelings of worthiness begin to emerge.  This is because you realize you don’t need to earn your worth, you ARE worth – all you need to do is claim your worth.

Consider this – do you *think* you need judgement to live right?  If you do, consider this, what if you’re wrong?

What if the key to self-respect and self-love was the absence of judgement?  Could you be that Free?  Could you feel that worthy?

As always, it's your choice.


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