What (and Who!) Determines Your Self Worth?

 Appearance has so little to do with where we should get our confidence from. But everywhere we turn we’re told we’re supposed to look this certain way. I have looked at myself in the mirror and though, This is how you look. Embrace that and move on. Confidence has nothing to do with how you look. I feel happiest when I’m with friends and I’m working really hard. ~Amy Schumer

The other day I discovered an empowering and inspirational speech that comedian Amy Schumer gave at The Gloria Awards a few years back.  The speech spoke to the importance of not relying on external sources for your confidence of self worth.  

You most likely know about Amy Schumer, she is comedy’s “it” girl not only because she's incredibly funny and talented, but because she uses her platform for women empowerment.  She's even starred in a movie called Train Wreck whose message is all about self acceptance and self love no matter what.  
In the speech that she gave at the Gloria Awards and Gala – which was hosted by the Ms. Foundation for Women – Amy has lots to say and, in my opinion, is a true role model for Claiming Your Worth.  Click here to read the transcript.  It’s long but so worth the read. Also, *WARNING* if you’re easily offended by some sexual content – and want to skip the back story, simply read my notes below – not as contextual but I think you’ll still get lots out of it.  

In the speech Amy explains settling for less than she deserved with some guy who was using her.  In Truth, she was also using him to try to feel better about herself.  Yet, her AHA moment came when she listened to her inner voice who reminded her of how awesome, beautiful and smart she really is.  

The moment is paramount because she says:  “ I never heard from Matt again, but felt only grateful for being introduced to my new self, a girl who got her value from within her. “

The best part of the speech to me is when Amy speaks about her confidence.  Even if her body isn’t "perfect" by society's standards, it’s the body she’s in and she loves it.  

Yet, like so many of us, her confidence still waivers when someone doesn’t see her for who she really is and makes a nasty comment or focuses solely on her looks vs. her true value and worth as a woman. As Amy puts it, when certain insults come, her self worth  “…is all gone, in an instant, it’s all stripped away…”.

She states  “All right! You got it. You figured me out. I’m not pretty. I’m not thin. I do not deserve to use my voice. I’ll start wearing a burqa and start waiting tables at a pancake house. All my self-worth is based on what you can see.” 

But then….

Amy summarizes:  “Fuck that. I am not laying in that freshman year bed anymore ever again. I am a woman with thoughts and questions and shit to say.  I say if I’m beautiful. I say if I’m strong. You will not determine my story — I will. I will speak and share and fuck and love and I will never apologize to the frightened millions who resent that they never had it in them to do it. I stand here and I am amazing, for you. Not because of you. I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you, and I thank you.”  

Here are some final thoughts:  

Society teaches that your self-worth comes from the outside  —based on what you have or what other people think of you.  

Yet, as Amy so eloquently explained, your worth isn’t about what you look like or what other people think or say about you.  Your worth and value comes from the inside – who you really are and all that you have to offer.  And whoever doesn’t see this, or appreciate it, needs to go from your life.  

Also, I love that Amy states that she gets to write her own story – and state her opinion about herself vs. it being the other way around…“I say that I’m beautiful.  I say that I’m strong….”  

I believe that in order to be your True Self in this world and express yourself authentically, you need to not only be vulnerable but confident in knowing where your worth comes from – within you and in your Divine connection with God. 

Once you have that connection, anything in the outer world can still feel like a dent, (or even a scar), but it will never penetrate deep enough to waiver your worth.  Not for a minute.


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