Judgement vs. Discernment

Photo by Agence Olloweb on Unsplash

“Make no judgments where you have no compassion.” ~Anne McCaffrey

Judgment gets a bad rap in our society. 

You hear people tell us that judging is bad and you shouldn't judge another or yourself.

I agree. 

Yet in order to function in life you do need have a tool that allows you to observe behavior and make determinations that serve you and your well being.

This key is to know the difference between judging and discernment. 

Judging is making a critical observation and concluding that you are better than the person you are judging.  This is also true for how your inner critic tries to control you through judgement of yourself!  

Discernment is the act of observing someone's behavior and making a determination if you agree or disagree and if this behavior is in in-line with your values and beliefs.  

Every situation, every person, every circumstance is in your life to help evolve your soul. It may not feel like that at the time, but at a deep level, we all know this to be true.

So, does this mean that you continue to accept bad behavior, or allow someone to walk all over your niceness?   

No, it’s the complete opposite.

When someone “tests” you, and they “test” you greatly, consider them a friend, not a foe. 

In these situations where you get triggered, it is your responsibility to discern people's people’s behavior not their heart.  If you go further and start saying they are wrong, bad, etc. - you have now bypassed discernment and walked down the judgement road.

If someone is in your life has or still is challenging you, take it as an opportunity to learn, grow, and evolve in order to get the lesson.  Then, and only then, can you decide what’s in your best interest moving forward. 

Learning the “Art of Discernment” is a great gift to give yourself because when you’re a compassionate, caring, giving, loving person – you need to know how-to discern what’s in your best interest and what isn’t.

Check-out the questions below to help you flex and buff your discernment muscle so you can operate more effectively in your life, work and relationships. 

Step 1:  Take an assessment in your life and ask yourself: 

  • Where do I feel drained, resentful and deprived? 

  • Where is my time and energy being sucked up that feels out of alignment with what I really want my time to feel like?

  • Who in my life do I know doesn’t have my best interests at heart, but I’m too afraid to look at this and admit the Truth?

*Self-honesty is critical with this exercise. 

Step 2:  After you access where you’re feeling a bit resentful, ask yourself: 

  • If no one would get upset at me, what obligations would I let go of?

Step 3:  It’s important to look at your life circumstances and view them through the lens of discernment by asking:

  • Does this person, circumstance or thing being me closer to my highest goals?

  • Is this in-line with me being my Best Self in life, work and relationships? 

Giving yourself the gift of Truth is priceless – and it takes immense courage to face the fact that you are responsible for what’s in your own best interest.

Realize that no one can do this for you – only you can do it. 

In a perfect world no one would get angry or upset at us for honoring our own Selves, but that just isn’t realistic.

When a situation is causing you grief or upset you must change what you need (and what you can) for your own best interest. 

Add Discernment to your toolkit of self and soul-care and you'll see your vibe, your energy and overall self-worth will rise and more positive things will come into your life immediately.

Give it a try and remember, that this process is KEY in the Claim Your Worth!® journey!  


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