When you make the all important decision to live the life you’re destined to live, you will go through a myriad of emotions. One biggie of an emotion is the “should-a, could-a, would-a” effect – where you feel “if only” I had done this – or “if only” they had done that – or “if only” it could of worked out this way.
Having regrets about your past and/or present circumstances, not only hold you back from manifesting your highest vision, but regrets also drain your energy and keep you steeped in old self-defeating programming and patterns.
To regret is to feel a sense of loss, disappointment, and an overall dissatisfaction with a decision or circumstance in your life. These feelings, if you explore them, most likely are repeats of the past and reminders of false beliefs that you aren’t worthy, that you can’t have what you want, and that your dreams will never manifest.
If you struggle with regrets and find yourself beating yourself up for past “mistakes” - the goal is to first look at what having regrets keeps you from doing. In other words, how does having regrets in your life excuse you from living your best life?
I’ve spoken about the fact that many of us dream of having a better life – with new, more positive, loving experiences - yet – the fear of loss– and fear of potential disappointment that goes along with claiming that life can feel really scary.
And this fear of change, can keep you stuck and stifled forever.
Struggling with having regrets is totally normal but it’s also limiting. The goal is to discover a new way to view your decisions and see that regret really isn’t an option. Consider that the opposite of having regrets is to experience contentment, happiness and satisfaction.
If you’re ready to get beyond the habit of beating yourself up and are ready to overcome regrets for good, check-out the below which will give you some tools to begin honoring yourself and your decisions and seeing how they all swirl into the beautiful picture of your possibility-filled life.
1. Uncover Your Real Fears – when you find yourself dealing with regret and beating yourself up for decisions that you made in the past (or present), look deeper to see what you may really be fearing. It sounds silly to the conscious mind, but often we look for all the reasons why things won’t work out and then seek evidence from the past to prove ourselves right. This false-evidence seeking keeps you stuck but “safe”. It keeps you stuck in what you know vs. trying new things and experiences. Your goal is to uncover why you may fear embracing a new, unrecognizable, positive way of life vs. staying stuck in what you know – even if it makes you unhappy.
2. Realize Regret’s Purpose– after you delve into some of the deeper fears you may have about embracing change, get clear on what regret’s real purpose which is: to keep you stuck. Regret is an emotion that sucks your energy and your self-esteem. In order to transform and move towards more positive experiences, you must train yourself to look at your life through a spiritually optimist lens. Switch the view from regret to purpose. Consider how even your most regrettable mistakes have contributed to your character building and even your life’s purpose. What have these regrets taught you and how could what you’ve learned from this experience benefit others? There is always a silver-lining and higher purpose to decisions we make – we just need to look for it.
3. Dwell In Possibility & Positivity – let’s all take Emily Dickinson’s advice and dwell in possibility which is the exact opposite of dwelling in the impossible. Regrets will make you feel as if nothing will change, situations are hopeless and that you’ll remain stuck forever. Possibility however, will give you renewed energy and hope and will help you see that things can and will change if you allow them. Give yourself permission to dwell in possibility and to see that your past (and present) don’t define you and never did. Consider the fact that every decision you’ve made up to this point was the right one for you at the time and each decision contributes to your beautiful future if you allow it to.
Contemplate all the beautiful ways your life can change if you would only allow it to. Grant yourself permission to have a different, more positive-filled life – because you truly deserve it.