How To Make Yourself A Priority

Photo by Rhand McCoy on Unsplash

Your heart knows the way.  Run in that direction.  ~Rumi

Oftentimes there is a big disconnect between what your heart  deeply desires and what your head tells you that you’re capable and worthy of.   

It’s one thing to say what you want and it’s another thing to believe with every cell of your being that you’re worthy of receiving it. 

In coaching sessions, we always go for the root of what is holding someone back.  What we most often discover is something that’s totally unconscious. 

The challenges faced usually sounds something like this:  “I don’t know what it is – I just can’t do it. I know what I want, I can see it, I journal around it, write ideas in a notebook, visualize it - but I can’t grasp it or manifest it, and I don’t know why!”. 

There is a familiar hold back that many face that you may relate with.  If you are someone who longs make a difference especially with your work, you are a giver.  You naturally give to others but you also most likely have a really hard time receiving.  You give, give, give to your family, your job/business, your partner, friends, household, etc. and then end-up not giving much if anything back to yourself.

You may find yourself asking - What about me and my dreams?  When is it my turn? 

Being a caretaker, a giving soul, a person who wants to help others and be of service is a beautiful and worthy thing, but it’s not beautiful or worthy when it’s costing you a life – and a high quality life at that. 

For example, someone who gets into a business with the intention to help others and as a result end up giving all their time, energy and soul to their clients but don’t give anything to themselves.  They end up under charging and have a hard time setting clear boundaries to ensure they have the appropriate energy to be their best Selves. 

By putting others before you - and your needs – you will NOT Claim Your Worth! and you’ll continue to stay on the treadmill of helping everyone else claim theirs – while you feel resentful and drained.

You can’t live a truly authentic, beautiful, balanced, abundant, successful life if you’re taking care of everyone else’s needs before your own.  You also can’t step out into your full-power and create the life you want if you’re too worried what others will think and if they’ll like you. 

Most importantly, if you have deep heart desires that are creative and beautiful and artistic and personal but you’re worried about being criticized for showing those gifts, or doing it the “right way”, then the world misses out on your gifts and that's no fun.   

To help you learn how to make yourself a priority, here are some questions to ponder:  

Tune-in to your heart that holds the potential for your desires and dreams and then ask yourself: 

  • What if right now it’s my turn? 
  • Am I willing to get good at disappointing some people around me in order to receive what I want and deserve? 
  • Am I willing to give the martyr, take control of everything part of my personality a back-seat and experience true peace and happiness?

For the next week (or longer) take a notebook with you wherever you go.  Have it handy after a shower,  in the car and when you go on a walk. Then, ask yourself: 

  • What does my heart really want for every area of my life? 
  • If I were to express my talents and gifts to the world, what way would I do that – via a business – through a company, etc.?    

Then, get real with yourself and ask: 

  • What is stopping me? 
  • What excuses am I using to not take action to move forward on these heart desires?  No money, no time, no support, no skills, etc.?
  • If I didn't have these excuses, what actions would I take right now?

Lots to ponder and contemplate but remember, you are always at choice on how you live.  The power is in claiming your choices!


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