Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash
In last week's article Keeping Commitments To Yourself I talked about conflicting priorities and if what you say you want isn't happening, you may be more committed to not changing for fear of losing something in your current life.
This fear of change also comes up because stepping into the unknown is cloudy. You don’t know what lies on the other side of your decisions.
Having a fear of the unknown is totally common - especially if you have a BIG Vision that you want to manifest and step into. You may daydream about things being different and better, but when you’re called on the carpet to actually commit those dreams to paper, it’s a whole different story.
Why is this?
When you are tasked with putting your Visions and Dreams on paper you are essentially committing to them. Subconsciously you may be afraid of what will happen to your life, relationships and your everyday existence if you actually make the decision and commit to it on paper.
I see this happen all the time.
I task a client with the BIG Visioning exercise where they are asked to craft a life where they dream of what they want their lives to look like in every area. This exercise calls on them to use their imagination and creative mind, not their rational, thinking mind.
In this exercise there is no talk of the “how”. It’s all about “perfect world” scenarios. These may feel like pipedreams. I always say if you’re giggling while you write, you’re on the right track!
And not surprisingly, I hear that all sorts of resistance comes up when clients actually take pen to paper. They get blocked and don’t know why. They can see what they want but for whatever reason when they go to write it down and actually claim it, they freeze.
When this happens you are almost always over a hidden, subconscious belief. A part of you fears something that you most likely have experienced before and never want to experience again.
The trip-up is – you think you're facing resistance because what you dream about is unknown territory. The truth is - this is not unknown territory - you’ve actually been here before. You were a dreamer and had a huge imagination.
Previously all of us at one time (a long time ago) stepped-out, shined in the spotlight, and over time (or maybe just one biggie of a time) were told: “don’t do that” – “it’s not good to shine” – don’t brag”, etc.
This type of criticism and judgement happens especially when you were really young, and incredibly creative, and sensitive. You may have taken those messages to mean certain things about you – such as: it’s not good to shine, it’s not good to ask for more, essentially, hide and play small.
So, doesn’t it make sense when you’re getting ready to reclaim that part of you – that part that is aching to shine, share and step-out that it would be scary?
The little child part of you (the dreamer) would be scared to be ridiculed or criticized again. So, this part, will do everything in its power to keep you “safe” and in your comfort zone and NOT change.
Here are some things to consider if you're feeling resistance to moving forward and stepping into the unknown:
A great resource to help you with tapping into long-lost dreams and creative aspirations is: The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. Julia really understands what it feels like to be blocked and how to help you get unblocked!
Give yourself permission to not "know" right now. That is the point of stepping into the unknown!