Fear of Loss

Photo by Karim MANJRA on Unsplash

Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Steeped in the need for growth and feeling worthy of experiencing and having MORE in your life – comes an,  almost always unconscious, ambivalence around wanting to grow but being afraid of it at the same time. 



What's at the core of this is?  F.E.A.R.  

Sure, there is fear of change, fear of the unknown and going to a new level and what that will require of you.  But at a deeper level - there is a fear of losing what you have now - when you gain something new.  

In other words - the fear of loss. 



This fear is there because of a central belief system that got formed long ago that states:  If you want to have more, you need to sacrifice something on the other end. 



And that belief system is true to a certain extent. Sacrifice is required – but it’s not sacrifice in the way that you may think.

The only sacrifice that is required for you to grow into discovering and become your True Self is to shed the falseness that got built around your True Self.  That falseness has protected the Real You from being seen - but now it’s time to shed it and radiate out who you really are. 



Consider this: when something is very important to you at a soul level – and it’s something that you’re meant to creatively express in this lifetime – a part of you feels very protective of that ‘thing’ and does everything it can to continue to protect it and keep it sealed off from the world. 



Yet, another part of you (Your True Self) knows that it is time for the Real You to discover this part of you – and to live the life that you were designed to live – and to become the person you’re meant to become. 



It takes major courage to follow the path of your True Self – because your True Self will show you places within that feel incredibly vulnerable. Places that cause you to feel protective, shy and reserved. Places that make you worried, anxious and resistant to even consider looking at. 



You’ll know that you’re ready for major growth if you’re feeling a deep heart’s desire and pull to explore new avenues - and those avenues feel a bit lofty, shaky and that they may rock the boat, not just a little but a lot! 



If you’re hearing the voice within say: “Who do you think you are?” to even think you have a chance in hell of doing that? Then you’re on the right path. Keep digging. Keep having the courage to choose your true path. And keep following the voice of your soul – it will never steer you wrong. 



Here's some worthy work for you:  


Take some time and consider a goal or vision that you consistently have that won’t seem to let you go. This vision/goal can be anything – but it must be something that 1) consistently crops up in your mind – especially when you’re not thinking about anything in particular, and 2) it must make you feel inferior in some way and that you aren’t cut-out to actually have it or experience it. 



Got it? Okay, great. 



Now, when you think of this vision/goal, what about it makes you feel inferior, nervous, anxious, worried about actually having it happen? 



What fears crop-up around loss?

What or whom are you afraid of losing if this vision/goal manifests?

Really give deep thought to this. If you’re stuck on moving forward, or don’t feel that you could actually do or be this – usually, almost always, there is some fear of loss that exists.


Let me give you an example. A client of mine was stuck around yearning to be more seen in the world both personally and professionally. She had a real deep heart’s desire to feel and be sexier. Yet, she kept extra weight and couldn’t understand why. After all, she loved to exercise and eat right – but she continued to sabotage herself in some way that kept extra weight on.


During one of our phone sessions, she was expressing this block to me and I asked her to close her eyes – and take some deep breaths. Then, I asked her – who or what are you afraid of losing if you feel beautiful and sexy? Instantly, she said “Respect”.

She was shocked by her answer, but I wasn’t. She realized that she believed that sexy and beautiful meant having to sacrifice being smart and being taken seriously by others. She thought she had to sacrifice one in order to gain the other. 



Consider what you’re afraid of losing if you gain something you desire. Then, abolish that false belief and let your True Self remind you that growth allows you to experience MORE, period.

The only sacrifice that is required is a shedding of falseness. 



When we all truly understand and know, at a deep level, that our True Self has our best interest at heart (literally!), and that there is no price-tag attached to that love, that’s when we truly, authentically blossom. 



So, are you up for the challenge to shed some falseness?  I thought so!  Go for it!

 


 

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