Fear Of Getting What You Really Want

Photo by Alexander Schimmeck on Unsplash

Don’t let the opinions of the average man/woman sway you. Dream, and he/she thinks you’re crazy. Succeed, and he/she thinks you’re lucky. Acquire wealth, and she/he thinks you’re greedy. Pay no attention. She/He simply doesn’t understand.~Robert G. Allen 

In my practice I work with people who are at two different stages of their career aspirations. 

One scenario is you’re at a stage where you’re seeking a more meaningful experience with work and life - and need clarity on what that vision looks like and how you can formulate it and bring it into fruition. 

The second scenario is, you already have a BIG Vision in mind and you now know it’s time to step-up and step-out and be more SEEN and have your VOICE be heard. 

In either scenario, you are looking to feel more confident and courageous in your self-expression - and be okay with having MORE than you've ever experienced in your life to date.  

You may crave more time, more love, more connection, more wealth, more creative endeavors, more travel - whatever it is -  there is something MORE you’re craving but you may struggle with:

  • How to go about finding and getting it 
  • How to feel worthy of actually possessing it 
  • How to deal with the fear you unconsciously have of losing it - or others you love once you have it

It’s a very loaded thing  - this wanting and craving MORE  - when in reality - you *should* be happy with what you have and what you’ve already been given, right?

Such a common struggle and such a common misconception.

Being a creative whose nature is to grow and evolve and to give MORE  - you must get comfortable and okay first with possessing that MORE. Otherwise, how can you give something you aren’t aware you already possess? 

Whether for you  - it’s giving more money to a cause you care about  - or it’s giving more love to people who mean so much to you - or more time to spend on activities you truly care about.

The challenge is- the ambivalence that many feel with wanting more but feeling greedy and guilty for having the want - or - actually getting what you want and the fear of losing "it" or "it" being taken from you.

What happens as a result of this guilt around being perceived as greedy which for most folks is a horrible label to have is: Okay, if I have more, then I need to make a huge sacrifice in order to have it. 

In other words you must pay a huge debt if you want it. 

The thing to know is:  your purpose in life is to grow and evolve as a spiritual being and part of that growth is discovering what you’re made of and experiencing all the courage and confidence that is within you. 

Therefore, the question is: how could you go about living your purpose without experiencing MORE from life? 

Check-out the exercise below where I help give you some strategies and techniques that will allow you to go a bit deeper into any ambivalence you’re feeling around wanting and craving MORE and why you may be resisting it at the same time.

If you struggle with ambivalence around wanting MORE and feeling worthy of having it, then consider that you may have a huge fear of loss.

You may fear losing what you already have if you actually change, grow and evolve. At the same time, you may fear that you won’t be responsible with the MORE that comes in and that you’ll lose it inevitably, so why even bother? 

There are many scenarios to the fear of loss but the main goal is to get comfortable with learning to trust yourself with having and possessing MORE and being ok with wealth in many forms. 

Here is a challenge for you:  

Go out and buy a surplus of something that you always need  - but never seem to have enough of. It could be a household item like toothpaste or paper towels - or it could be something more personal like a years supply of socks or underwear :). It doesn’t matter what it is  - just notice how you feel when making such a big purchase. Does it feel frivolous, almost greedy to have so much of this all at once? 

Then, as the weeks go on, go deeper into this and ask yourself:  

  • How comfortable would I feel with MORE than enough in my life? 
  • Do I trust myself to be a good steward of this wealth more money, more things, more love, more time, more deep friendships, more family time, more fun, etc. 

See where you may have challenges with feeling worthy of having MORE and where you get uncomfortable with the thought of more abundance. See where you may fear having to sacrifice in order to have it and where you may be protecting yourself where you really don’t need to be. 


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