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“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.” ― Paulo Coelho, Brida
The other day I had one of the best conversations with a new client whom, at the time, was trying to determine if now is the right time for her to start on the path of deeper Self discovery in life, work and relationships.
In our brief 20-minute call, she and I were able to determine the depth of her indecision and feeling overwhelmingly stuck. The key moment in the call was when she admitted: “I’m afraid to try again!”. She was so surprised when the words were uttered out of her mouth as she had no idea that this was the resistance and fear that was holding her back.
A strong fear of disappointment (being disappointed again) is what holds most people back from pursuing what they really, really want. It’s this fear that keeps them ‘safe’ but miserable, stuck but so ‘secure’.
Why is this so?
Why do we as a society fear being disappointed and do our best to try to avoid it?
The surface answer could mean a fear of failure – where you don’t want to try something and then have it not work out. Yet, a deeper meaning is much more far-reaching and transformational - which is the fear that your worst fears will come true. That your deepest false beliefs about who you are, what you’re worthy of receiving and experiencing in this life-time will actually come to ‘light’.
This is the time when your inner critic, who lives confidently in your head, will say: “See, it’s true. Look at what just happened when you tried something new or “risky”! See, I told you we’re not worthy. Don’t bother trying. It’s not meant for you. Others can experience it but you can’t. It’s not part of your path.”
Your inner critic will try to convince you to give up before you even begin. It will try to “protect” you from not only realizing your false fears, but it will also prevent you from realizing your true nature and discovering who you really are.
Dissolve false beliefs with Truth to get you moving again down your Divine Path.
Step forward in Faith and learn how to deal with the fear of disappointment and begin to build your courage muscles.
If you’re at a point where you’re afraid to move forward on something you know will benefit you to aligning and realizing a deeper part of your soul – where you discover new parts of you that are confident, courageous and worthy - consider that a fear of disappointment is at the core of your resistance.
Then, learn to accept and honor the Truth that on the path there will triumphs and there will be disappointments. It’s all part of the mixture of your journey and should be honored as such.
If you stay stuck in believing that whatever happens has “meaning” about you and your abilities, competence and self-worth, then you’ll never fully branch-out and try new things.
But, if you realize that ever piece of the puzzle on your journey has value and it’s bringing you closer to discovering the Real You, then that is a worthwhile journey for sure!
Contemplate the fear of disappointment that you may be feeling. Then, make a commitment to move forward on something within the next 24-48 hours that you know will benefit you greatly but you have no idea what the outcome will be.
Living your life aligned with your True Self isn’t a gamble – although it can feel that way. It’s the safest bet you can ever make. But, you must put yourself in the ‘game’ and play your hand. Trust me, you’ll be glad you did!
Have fun taking action towards discovering who you really are!