"To walk in nature is to witness a thousand miracles." ~Mary Davis
Have you ever wondered if your self worth fluctuates?
It's an interesting question - and when I googled to see if anyone else had written about the topic, inevitably what popped up were suggestions for searches and articles about self-esteem fluctuating - nothing about self worth.
This is so interesting because I've written about Self Worth vs. Self Esteem and the differences between the two. Self worth doesn't fluctuate. It is YOU at your core - your birthright - who you "are". Self esteem does fluctuate because it's based on what you "do". In a other words - self worth is internal - self esteem is all external.
In your life, at some point, you realize that the chase for more, the chase for perfection, the chase for all the pieces to perfectly fit, and for everything to be ‘just-so’ – and ‘perfect’ - is fleeting.
In order to grow and evolve into your most radiant, strong, abundant, worthy Self, you must develop the awareness of the Truth that we live in a world of duality. Each day we’ll witness so-called “good” and so-called “bad”.
It’s how we respond- and learn from - these ‘elements’ that make all the difference.
This is why it’s so imperative to not have your perception of your self-worth act like a seesaw would - where it goes up and down, up and down. There is lots to learn from nature here. Elements help you grow – and you realize that whatever comes your way – ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – has value. These elements contribute to your Self – and your perception of yourself and your innate worth.
The danger of viewing your self-worth as if it fluctuates (based on what's happening "out there") - is...you’ll stay stuck in the ‘not enough’ and lack mentality indefinitely .
With the seesaw of self-worth as your base, you’ll realize that: the bank account will never be where you want it; you’ll always wish it was more. You’ll lose a client here and there and worry about if you’re worthy of “success”, and then begin to doubt yourself and your abilities. You won’t get the contract or the raise you were hoping for and feel like it will never happen for you – others can progress, but you can’t. You’ll get rejected by a loved one and be hurt – possibly devastated – and wonder why you aren’t worthy of love, etc.
The list self worth seesaw of up and down - goes on and on.
There is a different way to view yourself, your circumstances and what happens to you however – and it’s seeing the Truth that just like with the elements of nature, it’s ALL worth-while. It ALL builds-up to who you become and what you have to contribute – and this is what builds tremendous character and resolve, and also, what contributes to you feeling deserving and worthy.
Believe it or not, your ability to endure – helps with your sense of self-worth!
Because in Truth, you’re being prepared for new experiences – and you’ll need that character and resolve when the big-moments come to step-up and stand-out.
If you’re committed to being a leader, someone who helps make a difference in other’s lives, and feels good in their own skin by being a power of example – you’ll begin to welcome whatever life hands you – because you’ll know that you’re being groomed to BE a much better, more effective, more authentic, strong, influential teacher. A teacher whom, rather than feeling like an imposter – who reads about what true strength is – and how others have it - you’ll realize you’ve been given the stuff that contributes to that strength – and can teach others how to endure as well.
Now, doesn’t that make for a worth-while life? To know that what you’ve been given (Good and Bad) can be shared for the common good?
If you’re at a point where you’re yearning to do more meaningful work in the world – but are stuck on what that looks like, the first step I always advise clients is to start with your life story.
I often get faced with lots of resistance when I ask clients to delve deeper into the past so they can begin to mold their future – but resistance is only there because major growth is forthcoming. So embrace it and then move onto the next step.
This week, challenge yourself to look back at your life in 10-year increments – and see what you remember about those times. Years 1-10, 11-20, and so on.
Consider if there were there certain experiences you had a hard time embracing. Then, look to see how you’ve overcome these, and how have they contributed to who you are today – and what you’re most proud of? Where are the gifts? What can you see you’ve been prepared to teach others – that has had value in your life?
If you’d like a one-sheet I share with clients, to give more process around this, simply email [email protected] and we’ll be sure to send it off to you!
And remember, your worth is constant. Your worth is your birthright. No one gave you worth - you were born with it.