If you identify yourself with being a can-do, go-getter, overachiever who has a track-record of getting things done - then being stuck in a rut is probably the worst feeling you could feel. It goes against the grain of everything you know about yourself and it hits hard to your identity and how you see yourself – and, where you source your value.
Imagine for a moment that you source your value and self-worth from giving.
Consider that you get a hit of adrenaline every time you accomplish, give, or prove that you’re valuable by doing or giving - whether it’s to someone or something – it feels good to get it done or provide because it feeds something in you – albeit temporarily.
Yet, at the same time, you may feel resentful and not know why. You may wonder why it seems that you never get back what you give. You may begin to get angry but have no idea you’re your angry. You may begin to feel sad and not know why.
Pretty soon you find yourself not only sad but stuck in a full-blown rut and have no idea how you got here.
Just know that being stuck in a rut happens after a long-time of ignoring your unmet needs. We all get stuck from time-to-time – but getting stuck and being stuck in a rut are different.
Being stuck in a rut is a place that feels dark, unfamiliar, and totally uncomfortable. It feels like you took a wrong turn and ended up on a dead-end street and have no idea where you are or how to get back “home”.
At the same time, in all your giving and doing without receiving much (if anything) back, you may have been secretly, unconsciously praying for something to give. You may have not even realized how the “old you” no longer fit into your daily life. How the Real You was encouraging you in your quietest moments to claim more for yourSELF, to give yourself a break, and to GIVE back to you for a change – and to learn to receive vs. feeling like you had to over-fill everyone else’s cups while you sit with an empty one.
Being stuck in a rut is a hard place to be - but a needed one if you’re committed to allowing the Real Youto guide you to your truest, most fully expressed life. Most of us don’t realize how we’re living our lives on auto-pilot – settling for far less than we deserve – and putting up with - and tolerating way too much.
If you find yourself in a place where you’re completely stuck consider this place a gift and take-on the following tasks to help you flip the switch of light and color into this dark place:
1. Honor the place that you are where you can only see what’s in front of you - and honor the fact that you just “don’t know” what’s ahead and that’s okay. This is a place where your soul – the Real You – can guide you to places that you truly desire – but the parts of you that are fearful and afraid of change – may have been too embarrassed to admit these desires.
2. Have a consult with your soul - steep into the silence of the un-knowing and ask the pain, the darkness, the unfamiliar, the stuck-ness what it wants to teach you. Ask what it’s trying to birth through you that you’ve always wanted, but don’t feel like you truly deserve. Consider that there is a place within you that you’ve been fearful to look at or even consider is still a part of you. It’s a part that longs for more self-expression, more color, more adventure, more romance, more feeling, more aliveness – agree to give this place within a voice.
3. Give your unconscious a voice - journal out your deepest thoughts and analyze your dreams for the next week. Allow yourself to be in the place of “not knowing” and to allow parts of your unconscious to speak for you. Give these places a voice by analyzing your dreams, journaling in your journal and also utilizing images and drawings to get a feel for what it going on.
When you are ready for a new level of growth and are tired of living out the same story day-to-day – your soul will catch wind of this and bring you in a place of stuck-ness so you’re forced to look at those parts of you that you may have forgotten, pushed away and not honored.
It’s time for you to blossom into the next level of your growth – and allowing yourself to be stuck in an unfamiliar place and honor it, give it a voice and express it through words, visions and your dreams – you won’t be the same person 30-days from now – you’ll be allowing the Real You to birth through!
Endure and enjoy your stuck-ness! ;0)