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Fear of Being Disappointed (Again!)

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“When you find your path, you must not be afraid. You need to have sufficient courage to make mistakes. Disappointment, defeat, and despair are the tools God uses to show us the way.” ― Paulo Coelho, Brida

The other day I had one of the best conversations with a new client whom, at the time, was trying to determine if now is the right time for her to start on the path of deeper Self discovery in life, work and relationships.

In our brief 20-minute call, she and I were able to determine the depth of her indecision and feeling overwhelmingly stuck. The key moment in the call was when she admitted: “I’m afraid to try again!”.  She was so surprised when the words were uttered out of her mouth as she had no...

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Aligning Your Head & Heart

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"The expression of divinity is in variety." ~Sheri S. Tepper

If you are someone who longs to follow your soul's path and purpose - you most likely struggle with the balance of what your soul needs and what your head wants.  

You may struggle with ensuring you are being responsible with your everyday decisions  - and taking care of your basic life necessities - while also honoring your soul and the evolution it craves.  

So, as with everything in life that we strive for, balance is needed.  Not balance in a perfectionism way, but balance in a way that you're acknowledging all your needs- especially the needs of your heart and your head - which are very different.

To help give some clarity around...

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Dealing with Uncertainty

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When you feel stressed, unsure and insecure about the future - what do you crave most?  The familiar?  What you know vs. what you don't know?  

It's so common to want to know and to be steeped in the familiar. 

Yet, if you truly want to step into a different life and experience new things for yourself and your potential - is KNOWING really what you need?  Knowing what's going to happen may be what you want - but is it what you NEED?  

I get it.  It is so much easier to want to cling onto the familiar because it gives you a sense of security - a sense of knowing what is going to happen.  But - how can things truly change if you know what's going to happen?  Wouldn't that create more...

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Toxic vs. Healthy Shame

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"Your problem is you are too busy holding on to your unworthiness." ~Ram Dass

In my work with people, the best way I can describe them hovering over a worth issue is when they know what it is that they truly desire and want  -  yet they struggle with a hold-back  a block of not being able to experience it and they have no idea why.

The best analogy I heard for this was described by Debbie Ford in one of her books where she said (which I'll paraphrase): The feeling is like being stuck in a glass capsule. On the outside you can see what it is that you desire. You are close enough to almost touch and taste it  - but you're just far enough away to fully grab on and claim it as yours.

Can you relate with this glass capsule...

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Conflicting Priorities

“Dance first, think later.” ~Samuel Beckett

When you have an important decision to make – do you tend to write out lists of the pros and cons – and consider which direction a yes could take you and which direction a no could take you? 

Ahh, the beauty of being an over thinker J

Ambivalence, on the surface is defined as:  the state of having simultaneous, sometimes conflicting behaviors towards something – like feeling happy and sad at the same time. 

The same is true for more unconscious things – like the classic – saying you want to get more fit and work-out more – and then finding yourself sitting on the couch watching tv. 

Ambivalence is normal to feel – especially when you’re making a big decision....

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How To Focus On What You Want

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“To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles.” ~T.F. Hodge

You’ve most likely heard the expression – Energy flows where your focus/attention goes...so true but have you learned how to put this Truth into practical application in your life?

I bet there is an area, or maybe several areas, in your life that feel out of alignment with how you’d ultimately like them to feel/be.

Maybe it’s in the area of your career – or finances – or relationships – or your health/well-being.

Whatever the area(s) is that you want to change, you are most likely focusing on what isn't there (aka lack thinking) vs. what is already there (abundance...

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The Power To Surrender

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"God always gives His/Her best to those who leave the choice with Him/Her" ~ Jim Elliot

If you're anything like me, you follow the positive psychology movement that reminds you constantly of how much power you have with what and how you think - and the decisions that you make in your life. 

This constant reminder to think positive, be positive, etc. - is powerful - but, can almost feel overwhelming knowing how much power you have at your fingertips!

This is why I love the quote above by Jim Elliot where he states that if we can hand over our choices to our Higher Power, then we'll realize that our true power (a.k.a. worth) lies in this sacred connection.  

I see these choices not only being in what you "do", but also in what you...

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Fear Of Getting What You Really Want

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Don’t let the opinions of the average man/woman sway you. Dream, and he/she thinks you’re crazy. Succeed, and he/she thinks you’re lucky. Acquire wealth, and she/he thinks you’re greedy. Pay no attention. She/He simply doesn’t understand.~Robert G. Allen 

In my practice I work with people who are at two different stages of their career aspirations. 

One scenario is you’re at a stage where you’re seeking a more meaningful experience with work and life - and need clarity on what that vision looks like and how you can formulate it and bring it into fruition. 

The second scenario is, you already have a BIG Vision in mind and you now know it’s time to step-up and step-out...

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Self Help Addiction

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Coaching doesn't make sick people well - it helps healthy people become extra-ordinary. ~Thomas Leonard

Last week I had a conversation with a close friend about how we all can get into the trap of self-help addiction and believing that paying attention to your growth and evolution means fixing yourself.

In other words, there is something wrong with you that needs to be helped, (a.k.a. self-help).

Not true. There isn't anything wrong with you - and nothing that needs to be "fixed". 

Even Iyanla Vanzant, who has her own show on OWN called Iyanla Fix My Life - insists that she doesn't fix anyone's life but gives people the tools to do it themselves.

That is really the key:  realizing you have the power vs. believing that you need to fixed or changed in...

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Feeling Guilty For Wanting MORE?

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“Believe you can and you're halfway there.” ~Theodore Roosevelt

In your life you’ve most likely doubted yourself, your abilities, and your overall self-worth at some point, right?

Well, that’s actually a really good thing (say what?!?) because if you didn’t feel self-doubt, or struggle with your overall worthiness, then you wouldn’t be living up to your full potential and experiencing the growth and evolution that your soul longs for.

See, your dreams, desires, and adventures that you long manifest into reality - have absolutely nothing to do with your overall worthiness or feeling deserving, or ‘good enough’ - but in actuality, have everything to do with what your soul came to experience and needs...

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